looking back/moving forward

Exactly one year ago, the best adventure of my life began. Nervous and excited, I hopped on a plane and began my 9-month journey through France and India. I knew what I was getting into, and I had no idea what I was getting into.

As I have said before, study abroad was some of the most challenging, exhilarating, frustrating, unforgettable and wonderful experiences of my life.

Simply, life changing.

It’s hard to believe that I experienced so much in a short amount of time and even harder to believe that my big adventure has already ended, but  it didn’t take me long to realize that my experiences follow me wherever I go.

So, looking back:

some of the best moments: relaxing with the sunset on the beach in Cannes, the view from the Tour Eiffel at night, carrying everything I need on my back, riding camels in Rajasthan to start 2011, watching “Friends” with my India roommates, the incredibly awesome accomplishment of speaking (relatively) fluently with native French speakers, successfully taking control in a Kolkata taxi cab, hiking through the Cinque Terre, listening to “Cecilia” in Atif’s car, tequila shots at Stations, birthday beignets in Paris in the Jardin du Luxembourg, seeing wild elephants, teaching Vinayak how to play cards, getting mehndi, L’Elixir performance, ladies night at Roxy/Tantra, dinner with the Soutouls, finding Kate miraculously in the London tube, markets in France, shopping for local handicrafts in villages, biking through villages in North Bengal, relaxing on the houseboat in Kerala, and SO MUCH more. I am so blessed to have had such awesome experiences, now turned to fond memories.

some of the more difficult moments: arriving in Delhi after 30+ hours of travel with no one to greet me, almost getting stranded in Italy, very expensive France on a limited budget, my second flight to Paris being canceled (aka the Easy Jet fiasco), the absolutely miserable very sick trip to Agra/Taj Mahal, being sick without the comforts of home, worrying about my safety, missing Karl and friends and family, missing out on events around campus, beggar children in absolute poverty fighting over the apple I gave them, rerouted from London City to Stansted, looking up flights home when I was miserably sick in the beginning of India, leaving the day after Christmas after only 2 weeks with my loved ones, a beggar child digging through the trash in front of me, adjusting to culture shock, language barriers, blizzard delays on my way home from France, mice and cockroaches in my bedroom/bathroom…and more. I am blessed to have these difficult times as well, because these are the experiences where I had to dig deep and find the strength in myself to make it through. I often learned more in hindsight from the difficult times.

Throughout the good times and the bad, it was the people I met and spent time with who shaped my experiences the most: my entire France group with all our different personalities and love/hate relationships, Leah (who I spent almost every adventure in France with), Liz (ain’t gon’ kill me!), Alejandra (“I’m so glad you’re here!”), Mickey (many good times and heart-to-hearts…teabag, OH!), Laura Regina Shawn Andrew and Evans, all the AIFS “the other Americans” (Ryan, Miriam, Cassie, Mary, Megan, Lara, Laura, Mary Jo, Reyshma, and more!), Patrick, Jean-Claude, Sylvie, Franck Souad Sarah et Eva Soutoul, the other CIC students, Beth (our wonderful France director, who even came to save us from being stranded in Italy!),  Julie (ma camarade de chambre), Madhu (the most amazing director – India would not have been a success without her!), Munu (I love your laughter and smiles!), Arundhati (the best mother away from home), Sujoy (my host father and seemingly human encyclopedia, guiding us through all our questions), Vinayak (my wonderful studious cricketer host brother), my AMAZING roommates Elizabeth Brynn and Ashley, the rest of my couldn’t-have-asked-for-a-better-group India group  (Danny Michael Jennifer Kathryn (Kefrin!) Bekkah Kia Haley Abbey), Haroon Atif and Adil (so thankful for your friendship!), Bhaswati (I will always remember Holi with you and Raka!), Satakshi, Riddhima, SXC staff (Sweta, M.S., S.B., Rajib) and all the other host parents (Antarin, Shyamali, Ranjit, Jaba Auntie, Ashok Uncle, Kakima, Kaku, Rashmi, Shantanu). Everyone mentioned here impacted my journey and helped me along the way, and I cannot thank you enough for the good times, the encouragement, and the guidance.

So what did I learn through this travel? As I chose the quote above – “One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things” – I hoped I would find it to be true. And I did. I learned so much about my place in the world, the diversity and richness of other cultures, the sheer joy (and difficulty) of experiencing a different way of life, and so much more that it is difficult to put words to this kind of growth. Even better, it’s the kind of growth that encourages more – more adventures, more exploring, more learning. Whatever I learned in those 9 months will not stay fixed pieces of knowledge…more will reveal itself as time goes on. And as much as I learned about my host cultures, the biggest things I learned were about myself. My willpower, my strengths, my faults, my fears, my biases, my judgments, my awesome-ness, and more. This journey made me into who I am today, and sometimes I feel who I am today is completely different from the person I was before I left. I am forever changed, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Moving forward: I will never forget my experiences abroad. India and France and everything in between follow me wherever I go. As sad and nostalgic as this one-year-anniversary-of-my-trip-starting feeling is, I am thankful for what lies ahead. I’m embracing the smaller adventures of every day life and I am so excited for the joys ahead: reconnecting with friends on campus, beginning my final year of college, having a BLAST at my last year at CSB/SJU, graduating, marrying the love of my life and starting our life together in marital bliss!

 

 

And so, the journey continues.

This is it…Goodbye, India

My study abroad has come to a close, and I leave for home tomorrow. My life for the past 4.5 months is now packed into 2 suitcases, a carry-on and a purse, ready for the long journey home.

I don’t even know how to describe the past 10 days – they have been a whirlwind of finishing papers, visiting friends, last group get-togethers, and last-minute shopping. My roommate, Elizabeth, left for home on Wednesday and it was hard to say goodbye to her. Her leaving left an emptiness in my room but I still felt like I had a month or more left here, rather than just a couple days. Going home was not reality yet. That has slowly sunk in today, after bringing my other roommates Brynn and Ashley to the airport this morning. I’m the only one left here in the house, and this house is so empty without them! I miss them already and I realize now how close I’ve become to them and other people in our group. We have a very close group, and I’m going to miss everyone a lot. Now that they’ve left, I’ve had an easier time coming to terms with leaving tomorrow.

It’s time for me to go back where I came from and to end this adventurous year abroad. I have learned so much more than I can put into words this year, and I am so grateful for my experiences in France and India. I can’t believe 9 months has flown by so quickly, as cliché as that sounds. Study abroad has been some of the most challenging, exhilarating, frustrating, unforgettable and wonderful experiences of my life. I’m not ready to leave yet since I know I won’t have these experiences again any time soon, probably never. One of the hardest things to deal with leaving here is not knowing when, if ever, I will be back. At least I know I will always have a home here in Kolkata with Arundhati, Sujoy, and Vinayak :)

There are so many things I’m going to miss about India: my host family, my great study abroad group, my Indian friends, the food, the chaos, never knowing what’s going to happen each day, the crazy traffic, the randomness, the contradictions, the challenge, Bollywood, mehndi, eating with my hands, crammed metro rides, the street life, kurtas and jasmine pants, Madhu and Munu, our group excursions, auto rides, and so. much. more. I know I’m going to go through a lot of reverse culture shock when I get home that I’m not really ready for…but oh well. Aal izz well :) I have so many things to look forward to about being home, so I should not focus on so many “last”s here but more “first”s at home.

Every sunset in India is a sunrise in the United States…

Kerala: “God’s Own Country”

Wow, what an amazing week-long trip to Kerala! It was our last group excursion (sad!) but it was a relaxing vacation in such beautiful places with great people! This excursion took us all around the state of Kerala, which is one of the southern-most states to the west. It was a whirlwind trip of 6 nights in 6 different places through “God’s Own Country” – Kerala’s nickname for its beautiful scenery.

We didn’t do too many tourist things around Kerala, and spent most of the time enjoying the beautiful scenery and relaxing. We stayed in really luxurious hotels – luxury being comparable to a nice hotel in the United States. Clean rooms and soft beds are complete luxuries to us, and our bus was also amazing! In the beginning of the trip, we had buses that were dirty, moldy, smelly, cold, and bumpy…and this bus was impeccably clean with comfortable seats. I’m glad we had such a nice bus since we spent so much time there traveling 4-hour drives for 3 days straight. Every place we stayed also had great buffets of all kinds of food – one morning we even had pancakes!

One of the great parts of the trip was spending a night on a houseboat. Kerala is known for its beautiful backwaters and the houseboats that live on them. I didn’t know what to expect for a houseboat, but definitely not what we had – dining area, bedrooms with separate twin beds, clean bathrooms, and an upper deck for relaxing. We were joking that we were on the Titanic! Luckily it wasn’t too hot, though I think I have adapted well to the climate here. (I am glad I’m missing all the snow back home! Snow at the end of April – yuck!)

Our houseboat!

I also enjoyed seeing the mountainous area of Kerala, where the rolling foothills were covered in tea plants. It was beautiful. We stopped at a tea plantation one day, and had the chance to see how tea is made. The leaves are plucked and then dried, then crushed into various grades depending on how fine you want your tea to be which affects the flavor, aroma and color. The black tea is oxidized, and the green is not. I’ve really come to love tea here, and I was sure to buy some to bring back home with me! We also stopped at a spice garden one day, since Kerala is known for its coffee and spices. It was crazy to see so many different spices in such a small area: coffee, tea, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, pepper, allspice, ginger, cocoa, chilis, and more. There were some I had never heard of that eliminates your ability to taste sugar. You chew it into a paste and then spit it out and for the next 20 minutes or so, you can’t taste anything sweet! Danny and Kathryn also tried a bite of the hottest chili in the world. Judging from their expressions, I was glad I didn’t try it.

The last night was spent on the beach. It was a great beach, and now I can say I’ve swum in the Arabian Sea :)

4 months ago today I arrived in India…and now I have only 10 days left here in India! :( There is so much that needs to happen in the next 10 days – finishing final papers, shopping, spending time with friends and host family, and just taking in this city that has been my home for the past 4 months. There are too many emotions to describe right now – so many things running through my head! I will enjoy these last few days to the fullest!!

Bengali New Year Celebrations

Just a quick blog update before I head to bed – we have an early morning ahead of us since we will be leaving for Kerala tomorrow!

The past week has been pretty low key. We’ve barely had class – just 3 days last week and 3 days this week! We had Thursday and Friday off last week because of holidays, and this week we have Thursday and Friday off for Easter holidays (even though we would miss class anyway for traveling). Last Friday was Bengali New Year. It’s not a celebration like 1 January New Year’s, but a small family event. Our host family had relatives visiting at the time, who were great to talk to. We all dressed up in saris and had a traditional Bengali meal for lunch, served on banana leaves! There was green mango juice for a drink, rice, dal, fried fish, prawns and vegetables, fried potatoes, more fish, a potato preparation, and of course – many many sweets. We had mishti doi (sweetened thick yogurt – YUM) and a few others. Bengalis are known for their love of food, especially sweets! I spent most of the day just working on homework, and Kathryn and Kia came over for dinner before we all went out with our friends Haroon and Atif for some late-night coffee. We’re so lucky we have a program that allows us to meet and spend time with Indian students! :) Saturday was also pretty low key – lots of time spent on my research paper, and then Elizabeth, Danny, and I spent the night at Kathryn’s! It was a great night even though we didn’t do much – watching movies while snacking on popcorn :) We had the most amazing

our amazing breakfast - pancakes, eggs, and hot chocolate!

breakfast in the morning though…PANCAKES! :D Kathryn’s dad had brought along some just-add-water packets of Bisquick with him when he visited last month, so we whipped up some of those and had an American breakfast feast! It was wonderful to get a taste of home.  The next few days were also fairly unremarkable, since I spent a lot of time getting my research paper and other work done so I could completely relax in Kerala this upcoming week :)

Last night was our celebration of Bengali New Year as a group. It was a lot bigger deal than I had expected – I thought we were just performing a little dance in front of our host parents, but there were many more people there! Madhu explained to our guests that this celebration was a culmination of all our efforts and what we have learned through our Bengali folk arts course. Everyone performed a song or recited a poem, and they all were wonderful! The 4 of us recited a Bengali poem (in Bengali! The whole performance was in Bengali) that was a playful piece alluding to how much Bengalis love to eat. After the performances/recitations, we performed a dance as an entire group. We were taught this dance that told the story of a new bride being welcomed into her husband’s home/family. We were all dressed up in saris and assigned roles to enact the story -Elizabeth was the bride, Michael was the groom, Jennifer and Bekkah were the mothers, Haley the elder sister of the bride, Danny the elder brother of the groom, and the rest of us were dancers. In the song and through the dance we bless the bride, admire her jewelry, admire the groom’s attire, sweep a place for them to sit, and just bless and welcome them in general. The dance went off quite well! We didn’t make too many mistakes. We all had a great time – and our guests included host parents, teachers, and art workshop instructors. It was a wonderful celebration, and everyone admired our efforts – they even complimented our Bengali pronunciation!

reciting our poem

The whole group, with Madhu and 2 of our teachers from SXC - Sweta and Rajib

Tomorrow, we’re headed off to Kerala for a week long excursion. It’s going to be wonderful! Kerala is in the southern tip of India on the western side. It’s going to be a busy excursion – 6 nights in 6 different places! We’ll be on the beach, spend a night in a houseboat, see spice plantations and tea gardens, historical monuments, and more. I can’t wait!

New Lost Girls Piece

Never thought of India as your next travel destination? In this piece, I give 20 reasons why you should consider it.

Click here to check it out!

One month left…

Nomoskar, everyone!

It’s been another week of being busy and not busy at the same time. Classes are pretty much the usual lecture and note taking, the occasional class cancellation. We actually had a test in Bengali last week –  he gave us a sheet of 20 words or so, and we just had to go up in front of him and pronounce the words and know the meaning of a few of them. He gave us 3 tries to pronounce the word correctly and even coached us through it,  so I’m glad we’re all on the same page of having low standards. I’m still struggling with finding the balance of staying in to get work done and going out to have fun – lately, I’ve been staying in a lot and trying to get through my very long to-do list so I can relax in Kerala and not be really stressed out my last week here.
I had a busy weekend though! Thursday was Kia’s birthday, so we all went to her house after school where we had cake and her mom made some really delicious egg rolls as a snack. There was some delicious sweet chili sauce on them – I’m going to have to buy some of that sauce to bring home with me! We went out to eat at a Thai restaurant in South City Mall. The food was really delicious but Brynn and I did a poor job about ordering to share. Kathryn had been there before and told us we could order one dish and share…but i guess that’s only some dishes! The dishes we ordered were delicious, but definitely enough for just one person. We had little mini spring rolls and some dish that was mushrooms and baby corn in a sweet and tangy sauce. It was too bad it was too expensive and we didn’t have enough time to order something else, so I actually got a Subway sandwich afterward! Subway is pretty much the same as it is at home, except that may of the dishes are specific to India – some “aloo” dishes or chicken tikka masala, for example.
Friday was our LAST Friday of class, and our last day of Sheta’s class. She had a speaker for the first two periods of her class who was talking about the history of Kolkata. As usual, it was a lecture and I have realized that I do NOT learn well or retain information that way and need some kind of visual aid to pay attention. It seems that Sheta can’t stand not speaking for more than an hour, because the second period she got up and was cutting off the speaker! They were just talking/yelling over each other – and the best part was when the speaker brought out this map of Kolkata and both were yelling over each other to tell us, “This color means parks! This color means schools!” It was too ridiculous. Later that night, we went out to dinner with our host family to a Chinese restaurant, which was great! It’s so nice to spend time with them, and I had some of the most delicious wantons and honey chicken I’ve ever had!

Saturday was devoted to art workshops – the first was about patachitra, or traditional Bengali folk paintings. They’re painted on a huge long scroll and used to tell stories through song – and the paints are made from vegetables and leaves! The artist told us a few stories first with her very elaborate scrolls – one story about the goddess Durga, another about a fish marriage, and another about the 2004 tsunami. After, we all got to try some painting ourselves! I bought some of her art too (I have such a weakness for the rural handicrafts). I bought myself a painting of the fish marriage and another painting to give away as a gift. We had a dance workshop immediately afterward, which was the first dance class of my life! We learned a dance that told the story of a young bride being welcomed into her new husband’s/family’s home. We had a great teacher who has a lot of fun when he’s teaching, and I think I didn’t dance too horribly. I guess we are going to perform this dance next week for all of our host parents as a way to celebrate Bengali New Year! We’ll see how it goes.

 

 

Sunday was busy too – we spent all morning touring Kolkata. We saw mostly religious worship sites – a ton of churches and a couple synagogues! It was my first time ever in a synagogue. We didn’t see any mosques, because women are not allowed in mosques…lame! We also stopped at a Bengali folk arts museum, which had some really incredible embroidered linens. Women embroidered these bed covers and other household items with such detail and skill – and all the thread came from the borders of old saris. There were also a few examples of patachitra, some clay or metal dolls, and more. We went out to eat for lunch at a Chinese restaurant for a buffet – the first buffet I’ve had here. It was pretty delicious!

some sites around Kolkata on our walking tour

Time is flying by – it’s now less than 10 days until we go to Kerala, and then there will be only 10 days left when we get back!! AGH! How is this happening?! I will already be home one month from today! I’m starting to panic a little having such little time left, and yet it does NOT feel real. It still feels like i will be here for forever. I will be happy to be home, but I know I will miss many things about India. I know I’m just so lucky to have so many wonderful things to look forward to when I come home! I’ll be glad to spend time with my family again, and I will be able to see my grandparents more since they are going to move to Duluth. I’ll be going back to my summer job at Greysolon Plaza, which I love, and I’ll be going to visit Karl in Annapolis just 10 days after I get home. I’m looking forward to being back on campus next year – I have gained an entirely new perspective and appreciation for CSB/SJU!! I’ll be so happy to be back on campus, back to my classes I enjoy, and to see all my friends again! I am so blessed to have so many wonderful things in my life. And of course – one of the most wonderful things has been this year abroad, which I am truly thankful for! Good thing it’s not quite over yet ;)

Family Vacation in Puri

Already April 3rd – time is flying! It’s been an eventful week and a half or so. Right now, I’ve just started to unpack from a weekend family vacation to the coast and decided to take a break with a blog update.

Last weekend, we visited the Victoria Memorial – one of the most known monuments of Kolkata. It was completed in the 1920s and was a monument more to the British presence and a symbol of their power in Kolkata and served as a museum.It’s an impressive building – best described as cross between the U.S. Capitol building and the Taj Mahal. There are many galleries inside with lots of artwork, but I preferred the exhibit on the history of Kolkata – there is so much to learn! We spent a few hours there and spent the rest of the day relaxing and teaching Arundhati how to make chocolate chip cookies :) Sunday was an eventful day. We all went as a group to a Jain ceremony – 2 of Madhu’s neighbors are in the process of becoming Jain nuns and she was invited to the ceremony, so she brought all of us along to see what it’s like. I had never heard of the Jain religion before coming to India, and I still haven’t had much exposure to it yet. I’ve read about Jain nuns in one of my books for class – Nine Lives – and it’s incredibly fascinating. I’ll share only what I know, but please don’t think of me as the authority on this and keep in mind that these are monastic Jains and the average Jain is not this rigid in their beliefs. These are Jain nuns, devoting their life to their religious beliefs. The Jain religion is isolated to India, and is most known by its belief of non-violence. Jains believe that there is the spirit of God in every living creature, so one of the main beliefs is no violence. They are strict vegetarians, which also excludes eggs, fish, and root vegetables (because harvesting them kills the plant, and also the numerous microorganisms that live on the plant or in the ground). Monastic Jains also wear masks over their mouth so as not to swallow any insects. They also sweep the ground in front of them as they walk so they don’t step on and kill any living things. They are not allowed to take any form of transportation other than their own two feet. They eat only once a day and only in the daylight so they can see what they are eating. If they find a bug or something in their food, they must drop it and wait to eat until the next day. The monastic Jains take 5 vows – no violence, no stealing, no untruth, no sex, no attachment. The no stealing can go as far as one must ask to use a table to set down something, because if they set down something on the table without asking it’s a form of stealing. The no attachment is also intriguing – they have no material possessions and must detach from personal relationships. This doesn’t mean they live as hermits – they do live in communities. They believe that all attachments cause suffering, and the release from suffering is Enlightenment. They also believe in reincarnation. Once one decides to become a Jain monk/nun, they renounce all their possessions and become a stranger to all their friends and family. At the end of their final ceremony, these women will walk of the ceremonial stage and will never see their family again. If they do, they may be friendly to them but still will be a stranger. The ceremony we saw was the second to last ceremony – and I didn’t understand much of it since it wasn’t in English. There were hundreds of people there, and it was a strange mood. To me, it seemed partway between a marriage and funeral – it was happy and celebratory like a marriage but also a bit somber like a funeral since it’s only another month before these women won’t be seen again by their family and friends. There wasn’t much that actually happened – their cousin was speaking, there were slide shows of the women, and the women sat up front looking slightly uncomfortable on display.

After the ceremony, we all came back to our house for an art workshop. Alpona is an art form that is a paste made from rice and water which is applied to floors and walls for celebrations. It was a lot of fun to draw on the floor and I can’t believe some of the detailed drawings. It’s difficult to be precise at the first go – you have to hold the pouch of rice paste carefully so there’s enough pressure that it won’t be too watery or too thick and so that it will drip down your fingers the right way. I went to go see the movie the King’s Speech on Sunday night – and it was a wonderful movie! I loved it. Colin Firth was amazing – I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to adopt a speech impediment when you don’t have one.

Class was pretty uneventful as usual this week – nothing to report there, except that we’re all feeling a little stressed out with all the deadlines that have seemed to appear out of no where. We knew we would have several assignments to finish before the end of the semester, but the deadlines and expectations weren’t outlined until last week. We’ve all got a lot to do before we head home in another month, and we’re seeing the days count down. The time left is feeling pretty segmented now – we have one full week of class left next week, a few days of class and then Thursday and Friday off, then three days of class before we have a 6-day trip to Kerala. After that will just be another week or so and I’ll be headed home!

Loreto has been okay lately. I’ve kept up on going twice a week for a total of at least 4 hours a week, and I’m getting closer to some of the girls. Durgi has taken to calling me “mama” and many more girls now recognize me and are happy to see me. I’m enjoying spending time playing with them more than tutoring them, since the language barrier is pretty discouraging. I tried teaching one of the girls, Andrea, how to play hangman the other day. It started out okay, but she may not know many words in English or how to spell them yet and she started to get frustrated when she kept guessing letters that weren’t correct. I’ll try again another time with 3-letter words and we’ll see if that’s better.

Drawing with Rosie on my lap

The Cricket World Cup came to a close this week. Wednesday was the semi-final of India vs. Pakistan, and I went to city centre with my friends to watch it. There were so many people there – and their enthusiasm and passion for their team was infectious! India won – and it was great to see everyone celebrating. The final was just last night – India vs. Sri Lanka. It was a tense really close game – and India won!!! It was awesome. And how awesome for us – our first real exposure to cricket is during the world cup and our host country wins :)

The crowd at City Centre for the semi-finals

We left on Thursday night on an overnight train for a weekend family vacation to Puri! Puri is on the coast of the Bay of Bengal, but is an easy train ride away from Kolkata. Our family has been planning this for weeks – and it was hard for Arundhati to contain her excitement. The overnight train was fine – similar to the train we took from Jodhpur to Dehli except it was three-tier sleeper this time and the AC was cranked so high that I had trouble sleeping since I was so cold. Puri was nice – the beach was awesome! It was nice to be out in the fresh air and it was great to swim. There was really nice soft sand, and there were huge waves. Apparently Indians must not have swimsuits or don’t swim very often, because there were very few Indians swimming and the few that were swam in shorts and a t-shirt. We were some of the only women swimming, and of course we were well covered in tank tops and shorts. There were also lifeguards available – in their funny cone-shaped hats – and our family was much less worried if we were swimming with the lifeguard. However, the lifeguard (an older man with just a kind of loin cloth for a swimsuit) hovered so close to us the entire time it felt pretty suffocating. He was never more than 10 feet away, even though we were never in more than chest-deep water. I hate feeling so restricted and feeling like I’m being treated like a child. That was the only downside to the swimming. We also did some sightseeing in the nearby area, to a really famous temple called the Sun Temple (though we didn’t go in since the ticket prices were pretty ridiculous for foreigners) and my favorite stop was in a village. This village was an entire art community – every house was a home and a workshop for whatever craft that family made. I got some great art – some painted coconuts that will become Christmas tree ornaments and an awesome painting/etching on palm leaf. I love buying crafts here! We also just had some great family bonding time – watching the cricket final on TV, hanging out on the beach, dinners out, and teaching Vinayak card games. It was a great weekend, and I’m glad I still have another month to spend with them :)

Happy Holi!

Last Saturday was Holi! It’s the Hindu festival of colors that celebrates spring/summer. It also has some ties to Hindu mythology – apparently there are references to the god Krishna playing with all his girlfriends, or gopis, throwing colors at them. Elizabeth and I went to a friend’s house – Bhaswati – on Friday night since it’s not always safe to travel on the morning of Holi with all the people out in the street, especially as a foreign woman. On Holi, many normal social restrictions are broken – you can come up to anyone on the street to shower them with the colors, touching their face, spraying passers-by with colored water, and many people take drugs on Holi. We didn’t want our host parents to worry about us, so we went on Friday night. Saturday morning was the celebration. Another friend, Raka, came over and we all went up to the terrace. First, Bhaswati did a small puja (ritual) by putting some of the red powdered color (gulal) on various idols and pictures of ancestors, as well as on her grandmother’s feet. We all went up to the terrace to play then – throwing gulal at each other or another powder that when mixed with water turned into a clothes and skin staining paint! We moved down to the street to get some passers-by, and some neighbors joined us. It was so much fun – and I wish we had this holiday at home!

 

before

after

On Sunday morning, my roommates and I went with our friends Haroon, Atif, and Adil to Atif’s farmhouse just outside the city. It’s not really a farm – but more like a countryside small cottage with a fenced in area. There’s a lovely vegetable garden, and a variety of tropical plants. It was nice to get out of the city and I had a lot of fun playing soccer and relaxing in the hammocks :)

The rest of this week hasn’t been too eventful. Classes are…still pretty lame and frustrating. It’s so hard that our educational systems are so different – here the students just take down the notes dictated to them and it’s so hard to deal with that when we come from a system where we are allowed to speak our minds and learn as much from our peers as we do our professors. At home, the professor is a facilitator of discussion – the students make the class into what they want it to be – whereas here, the teacher is the ultimate head of authority and knowledge. I am reallly looking forward to getting back to my CSB/SJU classes. We’re actually having a meeting with the administration tomorrow to go over some of our concerns. Though we knew it is the first program and very little was going to be sorted out before we arrived, we thought there would SOME more continuity than this. It’s just frustrating that it seems there is a serious lack of communication between the administration and the teachers and between our school and St. Xavier’s. For example, one of us went in to talk to one of the admins about something in her class, and he made a comment like, “oh, are you taking this course for credit?” The admins apparently don’t even know that we are here as real students who are taking courses for credit and will get grades that will be going back to our college at home as real grades.  And it’s also hard that student expectations are not very clear – at home we get a syllabus that lays out your assignments, what you’re supposed to do, when it’s due, and what you can do to succeed in the class. Here, it seems like the teachers make up assignments on the spot in a kind of offhand comment, and we really don’t know if that’s serious or what they want us to actually do for the assignment or when it’s due. It’s just very frustrating. And at this point, it’s too late for there to be many changes for our group (since we only have another month of classes, in which I’m sure about half of them will be canceled) so we just hope this can be better sorted out for the next group.

Yesterday, some of us went to the Park Hotel – a very fancy hotel here – since Kathryn’s family is visiting and are staying there. We went over to enjoy the pool and I was surprised to realize how much my standards/expectations have changed. This was a very nice hotel by American standards even, and I felt like I was not India. The bed was so soft and wonderful – such a contrast to my rather lumpy bed here at home. It was weird to be in a place so incredibly clean – not a spot of dirt anywhere. I never wear shorts and a tank top outside of my bedroom, and I felt practically naked going down to the pool in just shorts and a tank top. Small glimpses like this of the reverse culture shock I will experience when I go home makes me think I will have a hard time adjusting back to life in the US.

I can’t believe it’s the end of March…I will be home May 9th, so I have about 6.5 more weeks left. I have less than 50 days til I’ll be home! WOW. I’m not entirely happy or entirely sad about this – I will be glad to be home finally, to get some stability and normal back to my life. I’m not sure yet if India is a place I will visit again or if I’ll be “done” with it. I’m pretty sure I would like to visit again, but not for a long time. I would need a good break from India for a while,  and to be honest I’m not entirely sure if I’ll make it back here since it’s so far away. I will definitely go back to France though – I love France for so many reasons, and I really do love India too (for completely different reasons) but it’s definitely more of a love/hate relationship here.

Loreto, Cricket World Cup, and Beggars

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! :)

Check out my newest piece for the Lost Girls – 10 Snacks and Sweets in Kolkata :)

I can’t believe it’s already the second half of March – where is the time going? The past week has been great. On Saturday morning Ashley, Elizabeth and I went to Loreto to go along on their weekly trip to the villages. Every Saturday, the older Loreto students (around class 7 and 8) go to nearby villages to teach. We had about a two-hour bus ride to the villages, and the whole ride I talked to a group of 4 girls in class 8 who were in charge of leading me around. They were very cute and very interested in me and how I’m liking India. The school in the village was more than I was expecting – a huge building with several classrooms for many different ages. The facilities were quite nice – I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I can tell how much my standards have changed from home…this was a great school but it didn’t have electricity or desks for the students. The girls I was with took charge of a class 3 classroom of about 25 students. These students didn’t know any English – not more than numbers 1-10, so I wasn’t able to help very much since I’m at about the same level in Bangla. The girls were pretty good teachers, but some of them were more interested in talking to each other than teaching the class. I watched most of the time since I couldn’t do any teaching, but I often felt more like a distraction than a help since the students would focus on me instead of the lesson. It was still great to see. It was definitely worthwhile for me to go, but I don’t think I will go again since I felt almost more of a hindrance than a help.

Bengali on the chalkboard - all I can identify are the numbers at the left. 6 (choy), 7 (shat), 8 (aat) and 9 (noi).

Sunday was a relaxing day at home doing homework, and I watched the movie Food, Inc. I loved it – and it was very similar to the book I just finished, The Omnivore’s Dilemma. The author, Michael Pollan, was in the movie and so was one of the farmers he visited while writing his book. I’m learning so much about our food system in America – the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can’t wait to learn more! Next on my reading list will be Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser.

Durgi

We didn’t have class this week since it’s mid-semester exam week for all the St. Xavier’s students. We only had one exam to study for – our elective course at St. Xavier’s, so for me that is Sociology. Since we didn’t have class on Monday, I had the whole day free but I made some productive use of it by going to St. Xavier’s to study in the air-conditioned library without distractions. I went to Loreto afterward, and I’m slowly but steadily enjoying my time there more particularly because I’m starting to build relationships with the girls. One of the girls, Durgi, is becoming more attached to me each time I come. She gives me a huge hug every time she sees me and makes sure to ask when I’ll be coming back before I leave. She even made me a really cute drawing and poem about how we are friends and she loves me – how cute :) I took out my camera to take some pictures of her and another girl, Parveen, but they became very rowdy once the camera came out. It was very hard to get them to calm down afterward – they were climbing all over me and yelling and stole my shoe as I was trying to leave. It started to wear on my patience, but I’m constantly reminding myself of how much these girls are really desperate for the attention. I came home for a nice relaxing yoga session before our big night of switching rooms! Elizabeth and I share a bedroom here and so do Ashley and Brynn – but one room is much bigger than the other and also has desks for studying so we wanted to switch rooms so everyone had a fair chance to live in the bigger space. I’m enjoying the smaller room so far, though I’m still adjusting to sleeping in a new bed.

Suman and Parveen

Tuesday was a great day – we went to the Cricket World Cup! Madhu tried to get us tickets to a game with India playing, but that didn’t pan out so we got tickets to a South Africa vs. Ireland game. South Africa is one of the top cricket teams in the world so I was really excited to see such a world-class team play, as well as go to my first world-level competition! I met up with everyone at New Market to walk to the stadium, Eden Gardens (which is one of the biggest stadiums in the world!). There was really strict security – no cameras are allowed, nor are plastic water bottles (apparently the fans would throw the bottles onto the field?). We were there a little while before the game started, and we had plenty of time to find our seats which were fabulously placed in the lower tier so we were really close to the field. It was incredibly hot at the beginning sitting in the full sun when Kolkata already regularly reaches 95°F. They don’t really sell water in the stadium either…they give you 3 little plastic pouches of water with your ticket though, and it’s the worst packaging possible. You just have to rip the corner of the bag, which spills water everywhere and the little plastic cups you could use to drink the water didn’t hold the whole bagful. Stupid. It was great to relax with everyone though – I felt like I should be at a Twins game at home! I felt like I could be in America, and really wanted the typical American sporting event snacks that go along with it – popcorn, pretzels, nachos, etc. but instead there was Indian snacks like papri chat and egg rolls. Watching the game was great – I didn’t know much about cricket going into it but luckily Vinayak sat near me and he explained whatever questions we had. I have a solid understanding of the basics now, so I could at least follow the game. People will often say that cricket is like baseball, but if someone tells you that just don’t listen. Cricket is not like baseball except that someone throws a small ball, someone hits it with a bat, you run, and someone tries to catch the ball. It was a lot of fun, but we didn’t stay for the whole game. It started at 230pm and was scheduled to go til 1030pm, but we left around 730 – turns out Ireland didn’t do so well at bat, and South Africa won by 131 runs. The form of cricket used for the world cup is one where you play 50 “overs” – an over is 6 balls – and there are only 2 innings. One side will bat for the first inning and one will field, and they switch for the second inning once either the 50 overs are finished or all 11 players of the batting side are out. The traditional form of cricket lasts for 5 days! I’m looking forward to learning more about the game and to watch Vinayak in a match!

Wednesday was the day of our exam. We left quite early so we arrived with about an hour to spare before our exam began. We had heard from Kia, who took her exam on Monday, that it’s confusing trying to figure out where you have to go so we wanted to get there in plenty of time. We went to the office to ask which room we would be given the exam, and turns out the administration didn’t even know we would be taking the exam! Apparently the departments didn’t notify them we would even be taking the exam, so we were not included in their very elaborate seating chart which separates each class into different classrooms and specific assigned spots to take the test. They put us all in the same room. Luckily the exam was not difficult – I had prepared enough so the questions were very straightforward. The kind of exam that is given here is an essay exam where you have to write down basically everything you had memorized from the notes the professor dictated in class. It’s very much a kind of regurgitation of information – and I’m glad I only had the one exam to study for, unlike the rest of the St. Xavier’s students. I’m glad it went well, but now we’ll have to see how they will be grading us. We’re not sure how the grade conversion will work, or how the professors will grade our papers since they know we are not Sociology majors and that we have had no background in Soc. or India before coming here. After the exam, we met a few of the visiting CSB/SJU professors – there’s a group of about 7 professors who are visiting from our campuses to help assess how the program is going and also to introduce more faculty to the India program so there may be potential future program directors from this group. Elizabeth, Ashley and I went to Loreto afterward which was okay. We showed up at a time when there were very few students, but I spent the time with Jhuma and Durgi. Jhuma thoroughly enjoyed combing and braiding my hair, and I helped Durgi with a little homework. That night, we met up with our visiting professors at a great Chinese restaurant called Bar-B-Q. It was a wonderful dinner and it was SO nice to talk to them. I miss campus a lot so it was nice to talk to someone from there, and it was even better to talk to someone outside our group who really understands how different home is from here. They much better appreciate the joys and frustrations we have here, and they were very keen to listen to us describe our experience and to hear all our feedback, both positive and negative. I’m optimistic that this group will seriously consider our negative criticisms and will take action to help make this program better and more established in the coming years.

Another post, another reflection…this time it’s about beggars. When I decided to come to India, I knew I would see poverty like I could never imagine. I knew I would see beggars and I knew I would see slums. I knew, but at the same time I didn’t know that seeing this would affect me the way it has. At home, there is most often a clear division between a well-off neighborhood and less wealthy neighborhoods – you may be driving along in a rich area and as you drive the city slowly changes into less privileged areas. There is a very clear distinction and physical separation of these areas. Here in India, it is not like that at all. There is no clear division between wealthy areas and impoverished areas – you may be walking along next to a giant beautiful fancy hotel and within the next 20 steps, you find yourself walking through a slum. For such a long time, Calcutta was the West’s image of human despair and suffering and today there are still many examples of suffering. It’s hard to see such abject poverty – there is a slum area right outside my house and I walk by so many people every day who literally have nothing. There are so many homeless people on every street, and beggars at every corner. It’s hard to see this poverty – it’s emotionally draining and results in an ethical/moral dilemma. The hardest part of seeing this poverty is to see the vast majority of indifference to it. People walk along without even noticing the beggars or the homeless and ignore them when they are approached. I understand now how or why there is such an apparent indifference – if you became emotionally invested in every person that approached you on the street, you simply would not be able to function. It’s certainly easier to just walk by them. But is that even the right thing to do? How can we walk along so involved in our own lives that we ignore the humanity and suffering around us? I’m surprised at how quickly and easily I’ve become desensitized to the poverty, and a bit ashamed. I can honestly walk down a street and not give a second glance to the dirty woman and malnourished child huddled in the corner on a piece of cardboard.  It’s also hard to know that they seek me out specifically because I am a foreigner. When I’m approached by beggars, I never give money. I have no idea where that money is going, if they will actually use it themselves or if it will be given away to someone else or spent on unnecessary things. I give food when I can, and unfortunately just say no and sorry to everyone else. There was one incident that really stuck with me the other day – on Tuesday, when I was in New Market. New Market is a very popular shopping area where you can find almost anything in a great selection and bargain your price down to something reasonable. I like going to New Market, but I hate how hassled I am there. Vendors and beggars follow me around constantly, and they are very persistent. While Elizabeth and I were standing trying to figure out where to meet up with the group, an older woman with a baby in the crook of her arm approached me. She was following us/me, saying “didi, auntie (terms of respect here)…help…please, no money, milk for my baby…”, touching my arm, etc. She was very difficult to ignore – and it’s really hard to say no to someone when they are asking for some real thing they need and not money. I was stuck so uncomfortably in this ethical and moral dilemma – do I give her money? Do I buy her the milk? Do I just ignore her? And I hate that I feel like I have to be suspicious of their motives – is she seeking me out just because I’m a foreigner? Is that even her baby? If she was really desperate, wouldn’t she be asking everyone else? It feels awful having to judge someone’s motives when they are clearly in desperate need. I hate knowing that I’m targeted and that they are relying on manipulating my emotions – and should they? Do they have that right? I’m always so self-conscious when I take out my money to pay for something, because then they (whoever they is) can see how much money I actually have. Whenever my wallet comes out, that’s directly where their attention is focused. I can’t be giving out money all the time. I may have a lot of money by their standards but I’m still a poor college student with a lot of student loans and not a lot of money will be coming in this summer when I have to pay for things in U.S. dollars again. But still – I know I can always get more money through some way or another, even if that money will be in the future when I have a salaried job which I am so privileged to be able to rely on and plan on having. So when I ignore the beggars, I just feel like such a cold-hearted person. In the end, we did buy her the milk for the baby, and she did seem appreciative or grateful. I did notice that her attitude changed immediately after we said yes though – it was like she had assumed the position of power and became very confident, she was triumphant. I just hope she actually uses it. I wish there were easier answers for this dilemma – there seems to be no answer as to what is the “right” thing to do.

Searching for Tigers in the Sundarbans

Last weekend was our weekend group trip to the Sundarbans. The Sundarbans is a conservation area famous for its mangrove forests and its tigers! The tiger is an endangered species, and this Sundarbans tiger is amazing that it has adapted so much to its environment – it can swim miles to reach food and can drink salt water! We left on Saturday morning really early (6:30am) and had a 2.5 hour bus ride before we hopped on a ferry that would take us into the Sundarbans and the island where our camp was. It was definitely warmer there, but not unbearable. It was pretty peaceful there, just chugging along out on the boat, looking at the mangrove forests. The tide changes like crazy in the Sundarbans – it rises and lowers several meters multiple times a day. Trees will either be drowning in water up to their upper branches, or all the roots will be exposed. We spent the whole afternoon on the boat on Saturday, and got off at a watch tower to see tigers, but didn’t see any. We were out there til sunset, then came back for dinner and an early bedtime. The next day we were on the boat at 5am for a better chance to see wildlife, so we watched the sunrise on the boat. It was lovely, but we didn’t see much wildlife – some deer, a few monkeys, and far away birds. We were on the boat until about 1pm – 8 hours on the boat! But it was really nice – it reminded me of weekends on the lake in the summer. We all just dozed, listened to music, and talked while relaxing on the boat. After lunch back at camp, I just stayed indoors and relaxed by reading my book (I’ve now finished The Omnivore’s Dilemma – I loved it and highly recommend it!). Elizabeth and I took a bike ride into the village, which was really nice! Sunday we had a village tour – met some really adorable kids who loved having their picture taken and we also had a sip of some fresh coconut water. They climbed up the tree, got a bunch of coconuts down, hacked away the top and stuck a straw in! It has an interesting flavor – like water with grass in it. It was nice to try once, but I don’t think I’ll ask for it again. So overall, it was a pretty good weekend even though we didn’t do a lot. I got a lot of reading and relaxing in, enjoyed cruising around on the boat even though we didn’t see any tigers or much wildlife at all for that matter.

Since we returned on Monday, it’s been a pretty short week but that somehow managed to feel like much longer than a few days. Classes are incredibly boring and unfulfilling, as usual. We have a big mid-semester exam next week, which I am not looking forward to because you essentially just have to memorize your notebook and write down your notes exactly for the answer. I’m just not a fan of the system here and I can’t wait to get back to classes that I actually enjoy!

We went to an AWESOME craft fair yesterday in Salt Lake. The fair has been going on for a while now, but we’ve finally just made it there. It was incredible – everything is handmade and unique, with the artist sitting right there. It’s great you know the money is going directly to them and often artists were working right alongside their finished products! I bought some great gifts – tons of paintings and artwork. I LOVED it. We went to Danny and Michael’s afterward for a bit and some people played poker while others (myself included) watched a movie – My Name is Khan. We only watched the first half, since it’s a 3 hour movie, but it’s really good – about an Indian man who has Aspergers Syndrome and is Muslim and he moves to America. Then 9/11 happens and it’s all about the treatment of Muslims after 9/11 and a love story – can’t wait to see how it ends! This weekend I’m planning on going to the rural villages with Loreto to do some tutoring, which should be a good experience :) and this weekend is also the end of Vinayak’s exams (FINALLY!) so our family will finally be more free to hang out with us. Sujoy and Vinayak are supposed to give us cricket orientation this weekend, since the Cricket World Cup is going on right now and we are all going to a cricket match on Tuesday next week! We’ll see South Africa vs. Ireland – too bad we couldn’t get tickets to see India play, but it will still be fun :)

Cute village kids

Tonight some of us went to go see the movie Black Swan – it is a great movie. It’s brilliant and so well done, but it is a very freaky movie. I’m still very tense from watching it – there’s not much release from the intensity and no concrete explanations. It’s about a dancer in a ballet company that’s doing a production of Swan Lake. She’s a perfectionist and the director isn’t sure if she will be able to fulfill both roles of the pure frail White Swan and the sexy dangerous Black Swan. The movie is a psychological thriller – you see her character unraveling under the pressure as the movie progresses and there are many times where you are unsure what is reality and what is not. It’s a fascinating movie that I want to dissect and analyze – I have such a greater understanding and appreciation for films after taking a cinema class in France! One very interesting thing though was that the theater here censored parts of the movie. There were many sexual elements to this movie and some graphic scenes. A few crude sexual words were bleeped out, and an entire lesbian sex scene was cut (which we only knew because Kathryn had already seen the movie in the USA). That is India – sex is implied on screen, but rarely ever displayed and certainly not in the graphic sense it is in the USA. It wasn’t until recently that mainstream Indian movies would show kissing – between a heterosexual couple, of course. Interesting side note – it wasn’t until 2010, just last year, that gay sex was decriminalized in India!! WOW. It’s so interesting to note the gender imbalance, gender inequality, and general attitude toward sexuality here. There is so much gender inequality in every sphere here – and there is so much sexual repression every day public life, and yet it seems like that would not be the case since there are so many sexual references in the Hindu religion and in popular media. Oh the contradictions of India – Bollywood actresses can be dancing suggestively in skimpy clothing but the woman on the street dare not show any more leg than her ankle. It’s so interesting to learn about, and I’m only skimming the surface with what I know!

more cute village kids

One of the things I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately is how much I’ve been learning since arriving here 2 months ago. One of the things I think has been a very frustrating yet also a great learning experience is the fact that I am a minority here. This is the first time in my life I’m experiencing being a minority, since I’ve grown up in largely homogeneous communities. I’m a minority in just about every way here – white, female, foreign, Catholic – but also other things that make me a minority here like educated, wealthy (relative to here), English-speaking. There are many frustrations that come along with this – like being targeted for certain things or being treated in certain ways and having to be suspicious of people’s intentions in how they treat you. I certainly have a greater appreciation and empathy for the minorities in the USA – I can now better understand their struggles even though my understanding is still very limited. However, the crucial difference is that I’m a privileged minority. All the labels I just listed above entitle me to many privileges and special treatments. Since coming here, I’ve really realized how incredibly fortunate I am – and that I really am a part of a minuscule percentage of the world that has those privileges of being educated, wealthy, English-speaking, and so so so much more – even that I just don’t have to worry about fulfilling basic human needs like food, water, shelter, and more. There is such a sharp divide here between the “haves” and the “have nots” and most of this country of 1.1 billion people is made up of “have nots.” And this is just in one country – and thinking about all the other countries around the world made up of “have nots” makes me realize how truly fortunate I am and how I really should be grateful for what I have. It’s not that I feel guilty that I’m privileged and others are not – I certainly didn’t do anything to deserve these privileges more than someone else, just as someone didn’t do anything to not deserve the privileges that I enjoy. It was just the chance circumstance of me being born this way. This doesn’t mean that allows me to be dismissive or ignorant of the inequalities that result from this privilege imbalance, but there are specific constructed boundaries that may prevent me from doing certain things to try and remedy this imbalance. For example, sometimes I feel like I’m not getting a really “authentic” experience of India because we are so sheltered from a number of things and that because I’m a foreign white woman I’m not allowed to do certain things. I’m not allowed to go certain places because of risk to my safety, I can’t communicate with the average non-English-speaking Indian, I’m constantly in the company of educated elite Indians who have a lot of money – which is a very small percentage of the Indian population – and I often attract attention or special treatment because I’m a foreigner and they think my standards are higher than what they have to offer. I won’t be able to walk away from this trip without realizing how privileged I actually am, but the question from here on out is what do I do now with this awareness and how far can I push those limitations?